The African invasion of Britain has reached such large proportions that traditional witchdoctors are now taking out full-color advertisements in locally distributed newspapers targeted at their fellow-tribesmen, an exclusive New Observer report can reveal.
The advertisements have started appearing in the greater Birmingham and Manchester area editions of the Metro newspaper, a free-distribution paper aimed at the commuting community and most often given away at train stations and bus stops.
The advertisements, which look identical to those previously only seen in Africa, promise witchdoctor and “ancestral spirit” cures for all manner of personal problems, and, ominously enough, one even offers a cure for “immigration problems” as well—although that is linked directly to an “independent qualified solicitor” (possibly an “ordinary” client of the good doctor?
The most prominent of the new advertisers rejoices in the name “Shaikh Jalal”.
“Your satisfaction is my priority” the good witchdoctor announces, before boasting that his practice has “the highest of all spirits in the Midlands” (a reference to the part of England in which Birmingham is located).
With “40 years experience,[sic]” Shaikh Jalal says he is “the first man to combine the power of spirituality”—although confusingly he doesn’t say what it has been combined with.
However, whatever he has combined it with, is pretty powerful, or so he claims, because he says he can help clients with “relationships, work and business difficulties . . . those who feel unloved, unlucky or jealous. . . problems with your wife, husband or partners “ and so on.
Like a conventional business, Shaikh Jamal’s work comes with a guarantee: “All my work is guaranteed not leave you disappointed” [sic] is his tagline.
If maybe Shaikh Jamal seems to be a bit expensive (after all, his advertisement is very big), then customers may be tempted by the far more modest advertisement underneath his, from a “Mr Mamo.”
According to this advanced practitioner, he is a man who you “can trust with his knowledge from his ancestral spirit” who can “give you the way out with regards to marital, love, career, good luck, business etc.” [sic].
If Mr Mamo seems a bit dicey to you, you can always try Mr Abdul, who has a slightly larger advertisement (but nothing as pretentious as the good “Dr” Jalal).
“Mr Abdul” is a spiritual healer who can help you with business difficulties, court cases, family troubles and jealousies, exam and work embarrassment [the mind boggles] and best of all, he offers a translation service in “Urdu, Punjab and French.”
The latter provides an interesting clue as to the origin of his client base: Indians and West Africans.
As amusing as these adventures in Third World-ology might be, the more serious aspect is the mere fact of their presence in Birmingham. It means not only that these Third World witchdoctors are resident in the UK, but that there are enough of their fellow tribesmen present to supply a client base for their profession.
It is part of a process of colonization, which, if left unchecked, will turn Britain into a Third World country.